Choosing You Read online

  Apparently, he subscribed to the Lexi school of thought. Live in the moment.

  That night, while Henry was fast asleep, they made love. It was urgent and emotional, as if it could be their last time. Ethan moved over her, his back muscles bunched with every stroke. His hands cradled her face as they kissed. Slow, passionate kisses that went on forever and ever.

  She whimpered his name, running her hands up and down his back. Arching against him, she took him deeper inside of her. She felt every intake of his breath and every beat of his heart.

  His hands moved over her, touching reverently. Desperately. Taking and giving pleasure as if it were his last breath.

  She tipped her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes while he left a string of kisses across her neck. Her feet curled around his calves and his course hairs tickled her skin.

  His lips crawled down her chest to her breasts. “You’re beautiful,” he said, his mouth pressed against her skin, making her body flush with heat.

  She rocked into him, clinging to his shoulders as his thrusts grew more powerful. More frenzied.

  He murmured his need for her against her ear. Praised her body, her eyes, her hair. “Oh, baby, this is good. You’re so good, Brynn.”

  Soon his words became nonsensical and then lapsed into a series of grunts and moans. His feverish arousal fed hers, taking her higher and higher.

  His body, slick with perspiration, strained to give her as much pleasure as she could take before he took his own. But she didn’t want it to end. She didn’t want to go back to real life, to injuries and death and broken families and decisions that would only end in heartache. So she held on for as long as she could, drawing out each kiss, each touch, each stroke.

  She guided her hands over his impossibly perfect backside, reveling in his fierce thrusts. His hands moved back to cradle her face and for one heart-stopping moment he stared into her eyes. The tenderness of it, the sheer emotion etched across his expression broke her.

  Her eyes pooled as she peaked, her body shuddering its release. She turned her face and pressed her lips against his neck, uttering the words “I love you.”

  * * * *

  The next morning, Brynn reached across the bed to find Ethan gone. He must’ve snuck away some time during the night. She leaned over to sniff his pillow, getting a hit of manly shampoo and aftershave. It’s a smell she had come to associate with him and just the mere scent of it made her pulse quicken.

  A glimmer of sunshine seeped through the blinds, the first hint that it was later than her usual wake up time. She listened for any sounds of life in the kitchen or living room and didn’t hear any. Henry was probably still asleep.

  She stretched, touching her toes to the edge of the mattress, then rolled out of bed. Shrugging into her robe, she cinched the belt around her waist. Despite it being the middle of nowhere, she didn’t want to get caught in her nightgown. Once, in her Manhattan penthouse, eighty-five floors above the ground, she’d been making toast in her underwear and a window cleaner, harnessed to a scaffold, appeared out of nowhere. Boy, had she given him a show. It was the last time she ever went into her kitchen without being fully dressed.

  She padded into Henry’s room and as she thought, he was sound asleep. Standing next to his bed, she watched him breathe and listened to his little boy snores, her heart bursting. She brushed a strand of dark hair off his forehead and quietly closed the door on her way out.

  In the kitchen, she waited for the Keurig machine to fire up and popped in a pod. Soon, the sweet smell of coffee filled the air.

  It was nine o’clock. By now Ethan was either at work or on his way in. She peered out the window to the cottage’s driveway where his truck had been parked next to her Outback the evening before. Gone.

  Her mind shot to their night together. The way he made her feel. She tried to remember if it had been that way with Mason in the beginning. No. Their love had been built around a mutual interest. Advertising. All their excitement had been directed at jingles, taglines, mottos and messaging. At the end of the day, there wasn’t much left for each other.

  But there was no question that she’d loved Mason. His drive, his creativity, his excitement, and his entrepreneurial spirit. For the first few years, as they built their agency, they’d been happy. Even blissful. Then Henry came along and life changed and so did her and Mason’s relationship.

  A part of her wondered if that’s how it always was. That with time, love waned. But her parents were proof to the contrary. Forty-five years and still going strong.

  Her phone rang. It was a Reno area code, which she now knew by heart.

  “Hello.”

  “Mrs. Barnes?”

  “Yes?”

  “Hi, this is Dr. Daniels’s office. He wanted me to set up an appointment with Henry for a few tests.”

  This was the first Brynn was hearing of this. “What kind of tests?”

  “Nothing invasive. Just a DXA to test his bone density for osteoporosis and a vitamin D blood test.”

  Osteoporosis? She thought that was something middle aged women got, not eight-year-old boys. “I don’t understand.”

  “Dr. Daniels will explain it to you when you come in. He has you down for Monday at ten a.m. Will that work?”

  “Yes. Yes of course.”

  The second she hung up she started to text Ethan and stopped herself. She was doing it again. When she saw him tonight, she would ask him, not interrupt his busy day.

  In the meantime, she booted up her laptop and jumped on Google, a thing she’d repeatedly been warned not to do. Last year, Lexi discovered a raised, dark colored growth on her hip. After trolling the internet, she began making funeral arrangements, convinced that she was dying of melanoma. It was a benign mole.

  Henry came in. He was still in his pajamas and she would bet her checking account that he hadn’t yet brushed his teeth. She closed her laptop, kneeled, and laid a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

  “You need help with the shower?”

  “No, but can I have breakfast first?”

  “Absolutely.” She opened the pantry door. “What would you like? How about oatmeal?”

  He scrunched up his nose. “Cap’n Crunch.”

  She didn’t like him eating sugary cereals, yet she’d given into him on their last visit to the Nugget Market.

  “Okay but enjoy it while you can because we’re not making a habit of junk food for breakfast. Got it?”

  He nodded and pulled his wheelchair up to the table. “Mom, can we go fishing today?”

  “Fishing?” Other than the seafood counter at Whole Foods, she knew absolutely nothing about their fine finned friends. “We don’t have any poles, baby.”

  “Dr. Ethan does. Can we ask him if we can borrow them?”

  “He’s at work today. Maybe Saturday . . . with Dr. Ethan. How’s that?” She liked the idea of Henry being outside and getting exercise. So, if it meant her learning how to fish and putting a slimy worm on a hook, she’d suck it up for her son.

  “Dr. Ethan won’t be home Saturday.”

  “How do you know that?” She brought Henry’s breakfast to the table and got out the container of milk.

  “Roni told me. He’s taking her to her grandparents’ anniversary party. It’s at a restaurant in Reno.”

  Grandparents.

  Brynn assumed the plural there meant Joey’s parents. She wondered why Roni’s mother couldn’t take her daughter to the party. Why did Ethan have to go? Her resentment surprised her. It was uncharitable and out of character for her. These people used to be Ethan’s in-laws and were still Veronica’s grandparents. Of course he would attend.

  She suspected she’d be attached to Mason’s sister forever, even though she’d never really cared for Virginia. But her sister-in-law was Henry’s aunt and the only remaining member of Mason’s family. So, if Vi
rgie and her husband were having a big anniversary party, she and Henry would be duty bound to go.

  “Well, then maybe Sunday,” she said.

  “We could go buy fishing poles at that sports store in Nugget. They have ‘em. I saw ‘em when we went with Aunt Lexi to her hotel. Then we wouldn’t have to wait until Sunday.”

  He had her there. She propped her elbows on the table and rested her chin in her hands. “I suppose we could check it out. But not until after you do your schoolwork. And your exercises. Your physical therapist said you’re supposed to do them every day.” She wasn’t above a bribe. “But first, breakfast, then brushing your teeth, and a shower.”

  She’d never seen Henry more enthusiastic about filling in his worksheets and doing his stretches. He finished in record time and practically pushed her out the door.

  On their way to town, she came clean. “This is the thing, Henry, I don’t know anything about fishing. I’ve never even been before.” Unlike Mason with Henry, Brynn’s father had not been what you would call an outdoorsman. She’d been raised in symphony halls, opera houses, theaters and museums. The closest she’d ever come to anything remotely considered a water sport was summers in the Hamptons.

  “That’s okay. I know everything about it. Dr. Ethan taught me. I can show you.”

  His confidence warmed her. In some ways he seemed like his old self again. The happy, outgoing boy he’d been before the accident. She had Ethan to thank for that. He showered Henry with attention and had become the surrogate man in her son’s life. Henry imitated everything Ethan did right down to the tilt of his cowboy hat.

  The sporting goods store was surprisingly well stocked for such a small town. Brynn supposed there was a large market for kayaks, mountain bikes, bear spray and fishing gear in a town surrounded by lakes, rivers and forest trails.

  They wandered aimlessly around the shop, clueless about which of the dozens of fishing poles to choose. She waited for the lone salesman to finish helping a customer. He was leafing through a catalog of what looked to her like tricked-out golf carts. From the two men’s conversation, Brynn determined that the little buggies were designed to carry around hunters and deer carcasses. She shuddered at the thought.

  The police chief came into the store and bobbed his head in greeting when he saw Brynn and Henry. “How are you two doing?”

  “We’re shopping for fishing gear,” Henry volunteered.

  “Yeah?” Rhys winked at Brynn. “What are you looking to catch?”

  “Fish,” Henry said as if the chief was daft.

  Rhys chuckled. “Salmon or steelhead?”

  “I don’t know.”

  He looked at Brynn and she shrugged.

  Rhys eavesdropped on the salesman and his customer for a beat. “Looks like Carl’s going to be a while. Let’s see what he’s got.” He examined the array of rods on a rack against the wall and pulled one out. “This’ll work. Not too heavy for Henry with enough fighting power for salmon and steelhead.” He flipped the rod over and checked out the tag. “And it’s a nice price.”

  Rhys put the pole down on the counter by the cash register. “Let’s find you a couple of lures and some good line.”

  “You don’t have to. Really, I’m sure you have better things to do with your time.” He was the chief of police for goodness sake.

  “I have to wait for Carl anyway and I’m always happy to help another fisherman.” He squeezed Henry’s shoulder.

  An hour later, they left the store weighed down with everything a beginner angler needed to catch his first fish. She loaded the car and stopped at the grocery store for a few assorted things. By the time she was ready to leave, Henry was hungry for lunch. They went back to the square for burgers and fries at the Bun Boy.

  “Two days in a row.” She rolled her eyes at Henry. “Tonight, it’s something healthy.”

  Donna Thurston dropped by their picnic table—the same one they’d eaten at with Ethan and Roni. “Nice day.” She shielded her eyes from the sun.

  “We’re going fishing,” Henry said.

  “You are? Well, stay away from that bunch.” She bobbed her head across the square at the barbershop, where Owen and his Nugget Mafia crew were sitting outside, playing cards on a folding table. “They’ll scare the fish away with their big mouths.”

  The barbershop reminded Brynn she still needed a cut and color. She’d been so busy showing Lexi around that they hadn’t had time for a salon visit. Maybe one day next week.

  “Are you coming to high tea this Sunday? It’s the last one until next fall.”

  “You’re kidding?” It seemed like just yesterday that Maddy had invited Brynn. “Well then I’ll be there.” She’d have to drag Henry along. But it would be a shame to miss it.

  “Donna, any chance Owen’s daughter does hair on Sundays?”

  “I’m sure she would if you asked her. Everything is pretty informal around here.”

  Brynn strolled over to the barbershop after lunch and left Henry outside with Owen and the boys to talk fishing while she went inside to check with Darla.

  Brynn got a two o’clock Sunday appointment and left with a new skin-care product Darla swore by. She found Henry playing a rousing game of War with some of the members of the mafia, including Dink the mayor.

  “We’ve got to go, buddy. I’ve got perishables in the car.”

  “Now don’t go telling anyone you’re fishing without a license,” Owen warned as Henry pulled away from the table.

  Brynn hadn’t even considered a license. “We need one even if it’s on private property?” Rhys hadn’t said anything about it and he was the law.

  “Yep. But your secret’s safe with us, missy.”

  Driving home, she thought about this funny little town and its characters. The way they’d accepted her and Henry as if they were one of them. It was different than the mores of the Upper East Side, where it took money and status to belong. She saw why Ethan was so enamored with the place.

  And for a wild second she tried to imagine what life would be like here, away from the city she loved and the company she and her late husband had built from the ground up. And just like the idyllic storybook nature of Nugget’s town square the prospect was a fairytale.

  Chapter 21

  Ethan found them by the river, a fishing rod in Henry’s hand.

  Brynn sat on a rock, staring out over the water, her dark hair windblown, her eyes the shade of zircon in sunlight. She was such a vision that it made his chest hurt. He hung back, taking the opportunity to drink her in.

  She must’ve sensed him because she lifted her head and startled at his shadow. He stepped out from the thickets and grinned.

  “You’re home early.” She rose to her feet.

  “I had surgery at eight this morning.”

  Guilt streaked across her face and then red flushed her cheeks. She was remembering how they’d spent the night. Neither got a wink of sleep until he stole away at three in the morning.

  “Dr. Ethan come look at my new fishing pole.”

  He exchanged a glance with Brynn, who gave a little shrug, and hiked over to the flat bank where Henry had parked his wheelchair. “When did you get this, buddy?”

  “Today at the sports store. The police chief said it was good for . . .” He looked at Brynn. “Steelhead and salmon,” she finished.

  Henry handed him the pole and he weighed it in his hand. “Nice. But I would’ve lent you one of mine.”

  “I needed my own.” Henry puffed out his chest.

  “Fair enough. What are you using for bait there?” Ethan eyed Henry’s hook, which was bobbing on the surface of the water.

  “Grapes. We couldn’t figure out how to put the lure on.”

  “Grapes, huh?”

  “Yeah, it was my mom’s idea.”

  Ethan caught Brynn’s eye and grinned.
“Clever.”

  She hitched her shoulders. “We tried cheese but nothing happened.”

  Ethan went over to the big rock to sit next to Brynn while Henry attempted to cast his line. Later, he’d show Henry how to tie a lure and teach him a couple of knots.

  “Where’s Roni?”

  “She went into town with Alma to do some grocery shopping. Did my office call you?”

  She nodded and simultaneously pulled a face. “Osteoporosis?”

  “It’s fairly rare but not unheard of. It starts about Henry’s age, though I have no reason to suspect he has it. I’m just checking off a box, Brynn.”

  “If he did have it, though, it would explain why his bones aren’t healing, right?”

  “It could be a factor, yes.”

  “And the vitamin D test. Rickets?”

  “I’m looking at everything, Brynn. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. These are routine tests so we can eliminate even the slightest possibility and move on.”

  She scrutinized him, waiting for a tell. But the man had a poker face. “You’re not keeping anything from me, are you?”

  “Nope.” He cupped her chin in his hand and leaned in until their lips were almost touching. Then he quickly remembered Henry and pulled away. “I promise. Besides buying a fishing pole, what did you two do today?”

  “You’re looking at it.” She leaned back on her forearms and turned her face up to the sun.

  With her lips half parted and her blue eyes filled with contentment she took his breath away. “I missed you this morning,” he whispered.

  “Me too. What time did you leave?”

  “Around three. Felt like a high school kid, sneaking in the house before dawn.”

  She laughed, then turned circumspect. “I heard you’re going to your former in-laws’ anniversary party tomorrow.”

  Word spread fast. He figured it was most likely Roni, who couldn’t stop talking about the party. “Yeah, it’s their fiftieth. Joey and her brother, Jay, decided last minute to do something and rented out the party room at a steakhouse.”